So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
