y did u give ur computer a hand job?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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