She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this just has baby written all over it
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
