based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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