She said her name was "party"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
