So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
