i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
