Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
