I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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