party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
