Define "chronic" masturbator.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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