So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
