Whod you bang
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
