kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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