Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
