Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
