somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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