After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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