And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
