I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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