You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
