I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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