You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
