i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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