You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
