she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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