Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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