Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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