I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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