I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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