I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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