I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
