Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
