Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize