I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
