I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
