i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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