i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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