did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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