He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
