I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize