She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
