I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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