Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
