last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
