Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
