Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize