Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
