Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
