I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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