Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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