Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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