There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
