she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize