I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
