shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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