Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
