How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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