Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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